An Unwritten Life

“There’s no such thing as an unwritten life…just a badly written one.” -The Brothers Bloom

Here we are, at the end of the first week of my senior year in high school. So much has changed in the period of a year, and while usually the reflections come in late December or early January (the calendar definitions of new beginnings), my chapter is ending and a new one beginning, here in September. To be honest, I don’t know where to begin.

I feel like since last September, the benchmarks of my year have passed by in a blur of hospital beds and doctors appointments, starting with a horseback riding accident that put me in the hospital in Jackson. Afterwards, it took me a whole year to conquer a fear of horses I never knew I could have, but I’m proud to say, I did it! I travelled for the sixth time to Wyoming this year, and had an amazing trip, mainly because I was able to stay on a horse. Despite the wildfire smoke that clouded our view of the Tetons, the views were gorgeous, the elk and bison herds were impeccable…and my dancing skills are still horrendous. But I’ll be practicing my Texas Two-Step and the Wobble for next year. 😉

This past year has also felt the most natural for me. I’ve done more self discovery in this year than I ever have before, which makes me breathe a sigh of relief. But, the sigh of relief doesn’t mean a break in my busy schedule. I’ve been teaching music lessons, nannying, and interning for The Bioengineering Group.

***

I am a firm believer that we are characters in our own stories. We live out the stories and plans as they have been scripted for us. It’s proven that we cannot control the universe, or what the world throws our way. We can only control our actions, our reactions, and our words. More importantly, we control just how we tell our story. My favorite movie is The Brothers Bloom, about two brothers who make their way in the world as conmen. As one of their marks explains, not really knowing just how true her words are,

“I decided [my story] wasn’t a story about a miserable girl trapped in a house that smelled like medical supplies  wasting her life on a dying person she sometimes hated. This was a story about a girl who could find infinite beauty in anything, any little thing, and even love the person she was trapped with. And I told myself this story until it became true. Now, did doing this help me escape a wasted life? Or did it blind me so I didn’t want to escape it? I don’t know, but either way I was the one telling my own story.”

Intriguing? Yes. But you’d have to watch the movie several times to truly understand the context, coupled with where I’m going with this.

I’m turning a page in my life, once again writing a new chapter. My story is filled with mistakes and imperfections, inkblots of insanity, and cliffhangers. I don’t even know what happens next. What I’m trying to say is this:

I know sometimes life throws you curveballs. But if your life is so unpredictable that it feels you can’t handle it, you can. You are more than equipped to handle what you’re presented with. Be confident and trust that the universe brings good things unto those who think positively, and ultimately trust. You follow?

***

When reflecting on the struggles I faced in my junior year, one of my friends asked me what I’d change if I could do it all over again. The classes? The medical issues? The people? And finally, it’s nice to be able to say:

I wouldn’t change a damned thing.

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2 responses to “An Unwritten Life

  1. A wonderful philosophy about life. Thank you for writing this and reminding me that I too am writing my life’s story.

  2. this is beautifully written blog about a chapter Mandi. I loved all of it. your point about controlling what we can is so important, and reminds me of some Mary Englebreit words to which I hope I subscribe:

    “if you don’t like something, change it. if you can’t change it, change the way you look at it.”

    :~D

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